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The Bear

For 190 days I have been locked in a daily ritual with Kiddo's teddy bear.

Amber the bear and I have a nightly date. At bedtime, we have a cuddle and I whisper all of my love to Kiddo through Amber. As I rub the bear's fur above the forehead like Kiddo has loved from the day they were born. I tell Kiddo how much I love them, how proud I am of the person they are growing into, my wished for them to have a great nights sleep and a most beautiful day the next day. That I know they love me deeply that they are getting that message through to me and it is speaking louder than the hurtful ones they feel compelled to give because of struggles I know they are having from the choice they told me their dad was making them make. That they are very much missed not only at that moment but always. I tell Kiddo I am here for them and when they are ready to come home. Our love is strong and we will work beyond this. Then after giving the Amber bear a ton of kisses I set it in its place with one more good night and try to get some sleep.

On the REALLY tough days, I spend more time with the bear. I watch videos I want to show kiddo with the bear and worry that those days are tough because they are also tough for Kiddo and hope I am wrong about that wanting them to not be hurting like I am.

I love you Little Bear 💓 3

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